UNION-TRIBUNE
July 7, 2008
Unqualified superlatives are the worst of all.
– William
Safire
“Application Filed for World's Largest Solar Energy Generating Plant: 30,000 Solar Dishes in the Southern California Desert.”
It's the world's brightest headline, you could say (but to be safe, you probably shouldn't).
The Monday news release below the over-the-sun headline was followed by a sober story in Tuesday's San Diego Union-Tribune.
In his lead, reporter Bruce V. Bigelow safely described the Imperial Valley energy project, a green linchpin of SDG&E's proposed Sunrise Powerlink transmission line, as merely “massive.”
Good decision.
Who in the heck knows how to measure the largest solar plant in the world?
In the body of the story, Bigelow attributed the “world's largest” claim to Stirling Energy Systems, the Arizona startup that, in its gushing release, also touted its solar dish technology as the holder of the record “for the most efficient solar generation technology in the world.”
Ever since Gutenberg, the press has had a love-hate relationship with superlatives, as style scold Safire suggests.
On the one hand, we're attracted to absolute superlatives for their shock value. In that respect, we're no different than carnival barkers.
Step right up and view San Diego Sue, the hairiest lady in the world!
But we also fear superlatives because, unqualified, they're so often open to dispute by experts with a command of the stubborn facts.
Sure, Sue is pretty hairy, but she's a Chihuahua compared to Lapland Linda. Please print a correction.
So you have to be careful. When your mother says she loves you more than anyone in the world, check it out.
Still, as a native grandson of the Valley, I'm inclined to puff up the chest a bit at the sunny news.
Anti-Powerlink skeptics may scoff that the world-beating solar plant is being oversold, but it's still exciting that the struggling Valley could be reborn as a, if not the, premier generator of clean solar power.
Back in 1901, the year my great-grandparents left Julian to homestead on the Valley floor, the vaulting vision was to harness the Colorado River to create the world's most fertile crescent.
In its early days, the masthead of the Imperial Valley Press pointed to nature's sustainable power source: “Water Is King: Here Is Its Kingdom.”
A century later, the Valley's futuristic superlatives appear to be turning from the dwindling river and toward the Sun King.
While contemplating the Greatest Suncatcher on Earth, I asked myself what other Brobdingnagian boasts can we local boosters plausibly (if not authoritatively) make to the rest of the world?
An afternoon's search revealed eight candidates, all no doubt subject to quibbling qualification, clarification or correction. If you know of others, send them in to add to what I'm calling the world's largest collection of local superlatives.
World's Largest Skateboard Ramp – On a 12-acre farm in Vista, the Meta Ramp, wild brainchild of Brazilian pro skateboarder Bob Burnquist, is 360 feet long, longer than a football field, and 27 feet high at its apex. Typical top speed: 55 mph.
World's Largest Submerged-Membrane Treatment Plant – Yes, it's technical, a world wonder for water wonks, but the San Diego County Water Authority is proud of its first treatment plant, which filters out contaminants and bacteria. The Skinner plant in Riverside County cleans roughly six times more water a day, but San Diego does the job with edgy technology.
World's Largest Military Supermarket – Think of an on-base Costco filled with edibles at the San Diego Naval Base at 32nd Street. The bulked-up commissary serves about 250,000 military members and their families.
World's Largest Lemon – The kitschy citron of Lemon Grove, this icon celebrated its 80th birthday over the weekend. The 10-foot-wide, 3,000-pound “Big Lemon” is a sweet homage to tacky taste, a cure for civic scurvy.
World's Largest Bass Ever Hooked – Dottie, the large-mouth bass, was the matriarch of Escondido's Dixon Lake. Two years ago she was caught, weighed in at a world-record 25 pounds 1 ounce and then returned to the lake. (Dottie had been “foul-hooked,” a purist's no-no.) Anglers from around the world made the pilgrimage to Dixon to hook Dottie fairly. Two months ago, she was found dead of natural causes.
World's Largest Biotech Conference – Last month's confab attracted some 700 biotech companies, highlighting San Diego's prominence in the world's most exciting scientific field.
World's Largest High-Def Display – Constructed at UC San Diego in a joint program with UC Irvine, the two HIPerSpace screens boast a combined 440 million pixels of resolution, which is a world apart from your plasma TV.
The World's Largest Campus Drug Bust – The arrest of more than 70 students on drug charges shook the region's oldest university, spawning a series of alumni radio spots emphasizing pride in SDSU.
Logan Jenkins: (760) 737-7555; logan.jenkins@uniontrib.com
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