Sez Me . . .
Kelvin Sampson has fallen victim to one of the worst modern-day curses – the cell phone. And the “former” Indiana basketball coach has no one to blame but himself – and his service provider.
Among the most dangerous inventions of the 20th Century, I rank the cell up there with the automobile, airplanes, airports, the Internet, plastic, talk radio and the real killers. By the time our next 100 years go away, it might rank No. 1, although “American Idol” still might be around (can anyone in this country besides Tim Sullivan sing?).
That's what happens when something so stupid becomes a necessary evil.
I will admit I have a cell, and I use it, and it isn't cheap, but I won't text. If you text me, I'm not answering, so don't bother. Why not just call? I have one of these contraptions because I must have one.
And every time it rings, I cuss. Ask anyone who knows me. I'm not lying.
Given what's happened to Sampson, it now makes sense that all college coaches should be denied a cell, because the phones can become addictive and the addiction can get you in trouble. They're too easy. And the NCAA, every collegian's big brother, is watching and listening and monitoring, and it has nothing to do with George W. Bush.
Sampson lost his prestigious job at Indiana on Friday because he was a multiple-cell offender. While at Oklahoma, the NCAA penalized him for making 577 impermissible phone calls, presumably to recruits.
The NCAA nailed him again, and so Indiana brass had no choice but to remove him from office – and, for whatever reason gave him a $750,000 buyout. Giving this guy a buyout when he got caught with his finger on “send” was ludicrous, but that's collegiate athletics.
He shouldn't have gotten a cent, but, see, he can't get back at IU now. He's sworn to secrecy, although the university was obligated to pay him only into next month.
I could have told Sampson. Stay off that damn cell. Of course, he already had been told, but he couldn't help himself, because cell phones are like tobacco. He could have texted me. Ha.
Sampson served as president of the National Association of Basketball coaches and, from what I can gather, was one of its ethics police. Perfect.
It might seem that making phone calls to recruits isn't much, and I don't believe it's so, but, fact is, what he did violated one of the NCAA's 7,086,000 rules. And, he had been warned. Indiana took the easy out, giving Sampson money and pink-slipping him to avoid the NCAA's wrath.
Kelvin Sampson is a good coach. Some of his players have threatened to walk because of this, presumably because they no longer are on the coach's speed dial. They'll get over it.
As for Sampson, he'll work again. Some school in search of a good coach who hasn't choked anyone will hire him, maybe not tomorrow, but soon.
But Kelvin, don't call me and I won't call you. Promise. And throw that thing away. . .
Sen. Arlen Specter is accusing the New England Patriots of “stonewalling” on the Spygate issue. Right. If anyone knows what stonewalling is, it's a politician . .
The NFL has issued 560 media credentials for the NFL Combine in Indianapolis, or 560 too many . .
I can't wait for the first Combine 40-yard dash times, from which, I'm sure, the next Bob Hayes will emerge . .
The best thing about the Combine is that not one athlete has to prove he can play football – unless the NFL's Competition Committee demands cones be on the field this fall . .
Ohio State must pay ousted basketball coach Jim O'Brien $3 million for wrongful termination. Word is it won't dramatically affect the school's $100 million athletic budget . .
Neither Jason Kidd nor Shaquille O'Neal will get an NBA championship for the Mavs or Suns, respectively, but Pau Gasol just might mean one for the Lakers . .
Does Kobe Bryant want to leave the best team now? . .
Golfer Boo Weekley says he won't watch his own sport on TV, because: “It's got to be moving, man. Golf ain't moving.” So he hunts. Hunting, now that's moving, man – if you're the animal . .
If asked to play left field for the Padres, I will not serve – although I'm good at stumbling around . .
The other day, we ran a Nelvin Cepeda spring training photo of the Padres working out that reminded me of the rooftop “America” scene in “West Side Story.” If they're that good, they win the World Series. Rita Moreno can play left . .
Tiger Woods may be the greatest golfer ever, but I've said it before, and you know it if you've watched him in this week's Accenture Match Play Championship. He is, by far, the luckiest, and his luck never runs out. The Vatican Canonization Committee should keep a close eye on this kid . .
By the way, Accenture left La Costa for that course in Arizona? It's miniature golf with cactus windmills . .
But Tiger demanded and Tiger got . .
We must admire El Camino High's Nelson Rosario. Few preps play three sports anymore. Not many play two.
Nick Canepa: (619) 293-1397; nick.canepa@uniontrib.com
