BIRDIE

Trevor Immelman has his first Green Jacket; now if only he could wrestle the Green Belt away from South African mate Gary Player in the Masters sit-up contest.

BOGEY

Tiger Woods thought he had a good shot at winning the Grand Slam this year. Turns out, he never had a chance. You can't do it when there are two U.S. Opens on the schedule, one at Torrey, the other at Augusta.

THIS 'N' THAT

Snores, not roars: Golf.com reported that a Masters fan this past week was busted on the course for snoring. Wylie Griffith of Boise, Idaho, fell asleep in his chair Friday morning near the ninth green. He began snoring so loudly that the players could hear him. Griffith was nudged awake and later explained, “I was out judging a bikini contest at Hooters the other night, and also had a late night last night. The marshal was real nice. He said, 'Hey, you have to wake up. You're bothering people on the ninth.' ” A first-timer at the Masters, Griffith said, “Beautiful course, best seat in the house – and great sleeping conditions. . . . It could only be better if they had cocktail waitresses out here.”

Check that kid's allowance: When Woods was in the scoring building signing his scorecard yesterday, caddie Steve Williams was standing outside waiting for him. Kids are forever screaming, “Can I have that ball? Can I have that glove?” But one savvy boy who looked to be about 12 came up with a line we'd never heard: “I'll give you $100 for that ball!” Williams laughed but didn't give up a ball, even on creative points alone.

Still a Tiger fan: Trevor Immelman had just beaten Tiger Woods by three shots in the Masters, but he still sounded like a fan outside the ropes. “The guy boggles my mind,” he said. “I'm an avid sports watcher, and this guy is frightening in what he gets done. . . . To win 13 majors at the age of 32 is just frightening. It's just crazy to think how many he's going to get. . . . I'm not sure I'll ever get it done again, but I'll be trying my best.”

– TOD LEONARD