NEW YORK – TV journalist Ed Gordon has a close relationship with his teenage daughter, and he's hoping other black fathers will, too.
“Certainly there are issues with fathers being involved, and in particular within black America that's a problem and an issue, and it's larger than it should be,” he said. “But I don't think it's an anomaly where it is so surprising to see” a good relationship like his.
Gordon is launching “Daddy's Promise: A Lifetime of Love,” a yearlong initiative celebrating the bonds between black fathers and daughters. The campaign includes community programs, educational materials and a Web site (daddyspromise.com) where dads can download a pledge of love and upload father-daughter pictures.
In recent years, there has been a lot focus on the lack of responsible black fathers and the impact on black men, said Gordon, who wrote an essay about his relationship with Taylor that ran in Essence magazine.
But black women suffer as well, he said. Studies show that women who have good relationships with their dads are more self-confident and “follow a certain success path,” he said.
While Gordon lives in New York and Taylor in Detroit, they see each other every other week and sometimes talk three times a day.
“My dad actually cares,” said Taylor. “He wants to know how my day was. He wants to know what I did in school. It's hard sometimes because we are in two different states, but I know he tries his best.”
Here are Gordon's tips for building strong father-daughter bonds:
Spend time together. Make the most of time together, even if it's for three weeks in the summer.
Share your ups and downs with her so she can learn from your mistakes.
Find that fine line of letting her find her way even if she falls and being there when she needs a shoulder.
Be a parent first, a friend second. Fathers never want to disappoint their girls, but sometimes “no” is needed.
Let her be a girl. It can be difficult to see things from the female perspective, but tell yourself, “That's the way they see things.”
